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Sermon, Sunday November 8, 2020 – Spirit Filled Marriage.

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Ephesians 5:22-33

The starting point for discussing any relationship is found in Ephesians 5:18-21. Living a Spirit-filled life leads to healthy relationships and communities.  

Ephesians 5:22 to 24 has been challenged, thrown out, and ignored, because it doesn’t seem to sit well with our 21st century, post-modern, post-sexual revolution era. However, I believe it is extremely relevant to our culture. This passage gives us instruction in Spirit-filled marriages and the eternal purpose of God in marriage.

Sadly, in the 21st century, we must define marriage as it has been torn apart and challenged by our secular society. Marriage is ordained by God for an eternal purpose; thus, Satan hates marriage and has a specific purpose in destroying marriage.

John Stott wrote a definition of marriage: “Marriage is an exclusive heterosexual covenant between one man and one woman, ordained and sealed by God preceded by the leaving of parents, consummated in sexual union, issuing in a permanent mutually supportive partnership, and normally crowned with the gift of children”

In Ephesians 5:22-24 Paul addresses wives: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

Our culture struggles with this language of submission, but this is not about subjection or controlling power. Rather, as followers of Jesus, every aspect of our life is about submission.  

The key is in verse 25; a wife is called to submit to her husband who in turn is willing to die for her.  

“While some may view submitting to one’s husband’s authority as something negative, a more accurate way of looking at marital roles is to understand that wives are called to follow their husband’s loving leadership.” – Andreas Kostenberger.

Husbands and wives have equal value, but different roles within marriage. When both are fulfilling their roles, marriage is a beautiful thing to observe. If we struggle with these verses, we have to go back to the basics, this is God’s authoritative word to us and He does not instruct us to do anything that is outside of His perfect nature and for our good.

We must be careful to reject any teaching that says that women are subservient to men, or that the husband is a form of a CEO in the marriage. Submission must be voluntary and follows sacrificial love. Christian wives freely follow the loving leadership of a faithful husband, they should not be forced to do so for a tyrannical husband.

What does it mean to submit? To put the will of the other person ahead of your own, to prefer the other person.

What does it mean to love? To put the needs of the other person ahead of your own needs, to prefer one another.

Love and submission are two sides of the same coin.

In Ephesians 5:25-33 Paul addresses husbands.

The first instruction we find is that Husbands are to display Christ-like love. Christlike love is a sacrificial love, it is the love that took Jesus to the cross to give his own life for the church.

Men, marriage is a call to die to self. It is daily giving yourself away for the good of your bride. It is sacrificial and preferential love.

You cannot love your wife like Christ loved the church and be passive. This is loving by serving and giving of your time and energy.

It is also a sanctifying love, as we see in verse 26. This does not mean that a husband can atone for sins, only Jesus can do that. But men are to be the spiritual leader in the home. Encouraging their wife and children to read and to allow the word of God to bring transformation.

Married men, are our wives more like Christ because she’s married to us?

Or is she more like Christ in spite of us?

Husbands are instructed to prefer their wives and care for her emotional and physical needs as we read in verse 28 and 29. The husbands’ role is not to simply occupy the couch and expect to be waited on. Our role is to care for the health and the needs of our spouse as we would care for our own bodies.

So that is the passage as it is traditionally taught, but there is a greater and more important message in this text. There is an eternal purpose in marriage.

The key is found in verse 32, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Paul writes that this mystery is profound and beyond our understanding. When God created the world, and the covenant of marriage, he had Christ and the church in mind. Not the other way round.

Christ loves the church (v25), he gave his life for the church (v25), he sanctifies the church (v26), he cleanses the church (v26), he will present the church in splendor (v27), he provides and cares for the church (v29).

Marriage is not the ultimate, Christ is. If, the starting point for marriage is my own selfish desires, then I am starting at the wrong place. Marriage exists for the glory of Christ.

Marriage in this life is a shadow of the ultimate marriage of Christ and his bride the church. Christ is ultimate, not our husbands or our wives, our primary loyalty must be to Jesus.

Marriage is ordained by God for the glory of God. Therefore, He is the source of love and the only one who can cause a marriage to flourish and proclaim Christ to the World. The eternal purpose of marriage is to point us to the Gospel message. The church submitting to the headship of Christ, and Christ who already gave his life for the church. Christ is now sanctifying the church, his bride and preparing her for his return and the great marriage feast (Revelation 19).

As followers of Jesus, we need to celebrate marriage, we must pray for marriages, we must fight for marriages, because they have eternal significance.

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Sermon Sunday October 29, 2019 – The Sanctity of Marriage

Malachi 2:10-16

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How do you view marriage?

In the culture today, fewer and fewer people are getting married. Marriage is the first institution that God ordained in Genesis 2:24. God takes marriage seriously, but society has reduced it to a social contract and sometimes a contract of convenience.  

Historians agree that the primary reason for the collapse of the Roman empire (27B.C. to 476A.D.) was the internal decay of morality and the dismantling of the family structure.

In Malachi 2:10-16 the Lord rebukes the nation because of their broken relationships, relationships between the tribes of Israel and also personally in their weak view of marriage.

In verse 10, Malachi reminds them that they are a nation, created and called by God. God called them to be one nation, for His purposes and for His glory. But it seems that as they came out of exile, they became selfish, as the Lord blessed them with comfort and wealth, they forgot about their purpose as a nation.

America is a blessed nation, but the problem with financial blessing is that it frequently leads to selfishness. We have forgotten our roots as a nation. Forgetfulness lead to unfaithfulness.

As followers of Jesus, we are to be known for our unity and love. It doesn’t matter what our race, age or ethnic background, we are to display unity and love because we are united around the Gospel and we have the unity of the Holy Spirit drawing us together. Unity is a miracle because it is only possible by the power of God’s presence.

When we set aside petty differences and we prefer each other in forgiveness, we are putting God first in our church and that is worship. All unity in the body of Christ is only because of what Jesus has done for us.

In verse 11 and 12 we read that the second indictment God has against the people is in their lack of faithfulness to Himself. We don’t know the details but from Jeremiah 7 we can assume that they were turning to idol worship, running after the gods of the land that had been brought in since the exile began. The nation was profaning the name of God and His temple.

Idol worship is something that we can all fall into, it is when we value other things more than we value God.

In verse 11, Judah is described as the bridegroom and the daughter of a foreign god as the bride. Malachi is referring to a practice that whereby the Jewish men were divorcing their wives and marrying the wealthy non-Jewish inhabitants of the land. The Jewish men found this was the quickest way to restore their wealth in their homeland. This was strictly forbidden by God (see Deuteronomy 7:3-4 and 2 Corinthians 6:15-16).

The people of Israel were marrying idol worshippers, people outside of the faith. The problem with marrying someone who doesn’t believe what you believe, someone today who has not submitted himself or herself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, is that they simply do not have the same worldview. A worldview is the lens by which we view everything that is happening in your life. A Christian worldview determines how we use our time, the places we go to, the way we spend our money and raise our children. The Christian worldview makes it difficult to be in unity with someone who does not share the same value system.

In Verses 13 and14, we see a picture of a man weeping and the groaning. This is a man who has divorced his wife and married a pagan woman for her wealth and God has judged him. The husband cannot understand why God is taking marriage so seriously as we see in verse 14.

A marriage is where both participants leave their past influences and begin a new life together. Jesus taught in Mark 10:6-9, that marriage is serious and that it is a covenant before God whereby both partners leave their past influences and begin a new life together. In our culture divorce is no longer viewed as the last resort, rather it is simply viewed as a way out of a difficult relationship. Celebrities have made a living out of marrying and divorcing each other simply for the media attention. And sadly, as marriage is treated with less significance the true casualties of marriage are the children and the next generations.

As Christians, we view marriage as a holy commitment, not simply between two people, but before Almighty God, who instituted marriage in the first place.

Finally, in verses 15 and 16 God issues a warning and a challenge. In the last sentence of verse 16, God says, “So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless”

Walking the Christian life takes daily monitoring; in the same way, being faithful in marriage takes daily monitoring and attentiveness.

The reason God takes marriage so seriously is that it is designed by God primarily to display the relationship that Christ, the bridegroom has with his church. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul writes about the roles of a husband and a wife, but we get so tied up about wives submitting to their husbands that we don’t see the big picture that God is pointing to. Wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ in faith and love. Husbands are to give their lives for their wife as Christ who gave his life for the church. This passage is primarily about the glorious relationship between Christ and the church.

Marriage is so much more significant than what our culture teaches us. If you are married, remarried, about to be married or single, settle in your heart right now that marriage is a covenant before God, it is His institution that He chose to portray the relationship between Christ and the church.

Ultimately, we are weak in our faithfulness, but Jesus is the faithful one. The nation of Israel was easily seduced away from God, but Jesus is faithful. Even when we are unfaithful and value other things more than God, Jesus relentlessly pursues us as his bride. Jesus remained faithful to the point of death, giving his own precious blood for our sins.

God takes marriage seriously, commit today to pray for the marriages in your life.